heavy grace

"I am afraid, for no one's ever sacrificed and loved me this way. So on my face I fall under your heavy grace. Here I lay in awe and wonder." -I Wonder by Leeland-
Have you ever been overwhelmed by God's grace? So overwhelmed that it felt heavy, like this song describes? Jesus tells me to take His yoke because it is easy and his burden is light, but sometimes just His grace feels heavy. I've been sharing John 3:17 with Spaniards as I have the opportunity to share His words. It explains how God sent Jesus into the world to save, not to condemn. The grace of God. God wants to save the world. The world, full of sinners whom God abhors, full of sin on which He cannot even look upon. Full of the most wicked imaginations and evil disgusting acts. This is the world that He looked down to and thought it was worth forsaking His only child. Unbelievable. What love, what grace He is capable of! The song above says no one has ever sacrficied and loved me this way. Can you think of anyone else in your life who has sacrificed in this magnitude? He loves us in a way that is bigger and more grand than anyone on earth is capable of. God thought about me, about you, and decided we were worth it. He calls us to sacrifice. To sacrifice our lives and present them to him. There are days I do not sacrifice for Him. There are days I keep my life for myself. This is insane and irrational. The reasonable thing is to give all I have, can, all of me to Him. Is He worth it? Is He worth it to you? Is He worth getting up early and spending time with Him in prayer, listening, pouring out your soul to Him. Is He worth studying and meditating on His Words. Is He worth singing about, lifting your hands, opening your mouth to praise or to tell this world about the greatest love you have ever experienced? I have experienced His love, and I believe with all my heart it is worth sharing. Don't hoard this love for yourself. Give it freely. Give it on purpose. Live like He is worth it, every day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_45BT0cLuE&feature=related

change of heart

In the weeks and months before we came to Spain, I remember writing in our eNewsletter updates about how we had this deep longing to be in Spain. Specifically, I remember writing that our "hearts are in Spain". I had no idea the truth of that statement. A few months ago, amidst culture crisis, team growth, family challenges, and everything, I admit, I had a desire to go back to the States. Life was easier there, comfortable. But now, it makes me honestly a bit deflated. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to see my family and friends, and to encourage others with what God has been doing in our lives, but when I think about leaving Spain, it breaks my heart. Here is the hard reality. We are lacking in financial support, and unless we raise 100% of our support in the two months we will be in the States, we will not be allowed to return to Spain. Avant has requirements, and we are going to try with all our might to meet those requirements. We want so badly to be here. There is such a need for the gospel here. I've never met so many people in such a short time who do not know or do not believe the gospel. There is literally a pit in my stomach when I think about not being able to return to Spain. I know that God will give peace with whatever happens, but I desire to stay here. So, I say all this to show how God truly has brought our hearts to Spain. We are planning to be home the first week of June until the first week of August. During this time we have to almost double our support. We also need to find renters or buyers for our house in Springfield. It would be really difficult to be paying for a house in the States and an apartment in Spain. So, there are the facts, and I ask you to please pray about this situation. We want to be here. We want to be back here in August. Pray for God to provide and for Him to give peace in whatever the outcome is. I'm so thankful that God has called us here for this season, and that He has really given us hearts for the people of Spain.

i love you vegetables!!

One of the many benefits of living in Spain is the costliness of fresh fruits and veggies. This bundle of mushrooms, asparagus, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, broccoli, zucchini, and leeks was crazy cheap from our favorite 'fruteria' below our apartment. Luckily, our entire family has a deep love for veggies, even our four-year-old daughter, believe it or not. Since January first we have been trying and succeeding in changing our diet. Justin and I have each lost almost 20 pounds! It's really not fair because he has lost his weight by only changing his eating habits, whereas I have taken up running. I am very proud of him and myself, and I really hope we keep at it. We also bought a bike to save money, time, and for exercise. Last week was our first 24/7 prayer week with our team, and I almost had to laugh as I thought of how different our life has become. Several mornings I found myself riding our bike down one of the main streets in Valladolid, at 5:30 am! I walk or ride the bike every day to class too. It's funny, I haven't been in a car for over nine months!!! I love the energy I have from eating better and exercising. Also, since both my parents had heart surgery in the last two years, I am thinking more and more about my future and my body. Exercising and saying no to certain foods can be hard, but it's so worth it. It is worth it for God, for my spouse, for my kids, and for myself. My sister has recently started a blog, and she has written a bit about this too. Check out the link if you are interested: http://www.15of31.com/2012/03/what-are-you-made-of.html?spref=fb